The other day I saw an article in one of the sections of our local paper, and it really got me steamed. It was about how important the Grooms Cake was at a wedding. The last paragraph was what got me all upset. To effect, it said that the grooms cake was the best way to acknowledge the groom at the wedding.
GAH! I couldn't believe my eyes. I was angry. Seriously, everywhere you look these days, the wedding is focused on the bride almost exclusively. The groom is expected to smile, nod, say "I do", and eat his cake. Well, it's time for me to rise against the establishment. Weddings are a celebration of two lives being twined together.
So why isn't the groom more in the spotlight?
I understand the bride being important, no wedding is complete without one. But the groom is the other half of that coin. Every wedding I've gone to, the ceremony starts with the groom already up at the altar. Why doesn't he get an entrance? The groomsmen and best man usually do, so why is it so frowned upon for the groom to be active at his own wedding?
Sorry, I'm ranting. Deanna and I are planning this wedding equally, paying equally, and want to celebrate it equally. Yeah, I'm pushing for an entrance for me, and more time in the spotlight for all of us grooms. If our guests find it tacky or selfish, then a raspberry to them! It's my wedding too, and I want to be as much a part of the celebration as Deanna.
But it also made me think of the other established peculiarities we have in our culture. I submit to you, dear readers, the following for your pondering:
Why is 'Ice Cream' a separate section of the grocery store from 'Desserts'?
Why are pickles in the 'Condiment' aisle when they are clearly vegetables?
How did we end up using red (typically a sign of caution or danger) to mean stop, and not yellow (which is the color of super important signs on the roads)?
Who determines the serving size on all our food? (I'm certain it was an ice cream hater, because no one can eat just 1/4 of a pint of Ben & Jerry's. It's just not possible.)
Have you seen the video where the wedding party does all the dancing while walking down the isle? I'd say that everyone was active and showcased at that wedding, maybe it was tacky to some, but it looked like a hell of a lot of fun! It's your wedding, have it your way! We made ours uniquely our own. The wedding is for you, everyone else is just invited to enjoy the show.
ReplyDeleteI think you think too much. lol Make the wedding what you & Deanna both want. My advice is to decide what is important to you & let Deanna decide what is important to her....COMPROMISE on the other stuff (because that is what marriage is about). Have fun with it. Don't think things over too hard or you'll wear yourselves out & ultimately everyone is going to enjoy themselves no matter what.
ReplyDeleteMelissa
I love that video Denise! It's awesome! Deanna and I are talking about how we should make the wedding party do something like that, then I realize my wedding party is old. Out of the 6 people I have on my side, only my little brother is younger than me. :P
ReplyDeleteMelissa, you're probably right. I think WAAAAAAY too much. But, if I didn't, I wouldn't be me :D
Make the wedding yours (meaning the two of you) as it should be. :)
ReplyDeleteHey! I'm not old. But don't expect me to dance down the aisle. I'm a horrible dancer.
ReplyDeleteMelissa
Um, I was just talking about the guys. Women age at 60% the rate of men, so you're all still young and beautiful!
ReplyDeleteIt will be YOUR day, too son. Just not in the same way....
ReplyDeleteShe will have her ONE day in the sunshine and spend the rest of her days waking up bleary-eyed to change diapers, fix lunches to take to work, and stay home doing laundry for the thankless masses of family, or work full time and still have to do all that, the rest of her days.
Never again will she look that fantastic, or feel that special (unless you MAKE her feel that way, so do!) It's HER day to shine. It's all little girls dream of growing up: the DAY. It's yours to make HER look/feel good!
Think about it this way: she gets to look incredibly beautiful and be fussed over, that day, but you end up paying for most of your life together, working until you drop in your 60's, while she's a mom at home, and you will always being the one everyone depends on keeping things going! You are the silent HERO.
You are the ROCK, the man, THE GROOM, THE HUSBAND, KEEPER OF THE CASTLE! You stand by her side, always the silent protector, the one who "takes care of everything" so she can be who she is. Your job. She's looking at YOU THAT DAY!! It's YOU at the altar, waiting for her that she's looking forward to seeing.
You will be magnificently handsome, as never before, maybe never after again. (up to you). It's your job to make sure the light shines on her that day and yours to be the silent, handsome protector, keeper of her heart and life in the future.
It will be a day to remember, so keep it simple and just enjoy it. Too much fuss, too many plans and it will seem like work and you will want to hurry and get it all over with, just to rest and get away. I know people who felt that way.
Life can be short, and horribly unpredictable. Cherish every moment you have and don't worry about getting as much attention as she does that day. She's earned it. You get to take her home, and nobody else does!!
Hugs, Mom